Sorry for the late post everyone! I am trying to keep with a Tuesday schedule, but this week I went home to Florida to spend some time with family and pets. So while days are filled with sweating in the sun with my horse, puppy belly rubs, yummy food, and practice, my posts might be more sporadic until September.
I love Boston, but I also love home. One is busy with never ending things to do, and the other is quiet with wide-open green fields. One has constant evening concerts, and the other is so dark you can see the Milky Way. Since undergrad in Tampa, I have often felt that I enjoy the best of both worlds living in between a city and a rural area, but there is also an inner turmoil between the two. I always had to choose between music and horses, because it was impossible to fully invest into both of them due to the amount of time and money each require.
I ended up picking music for schooling and a career. I had a much clearer picture of what I could achieve in music at the time than what I could I do with horses. However, I soon found this feeling that if I did not complete all of my big music endeavors by my late 20’s, then it was game over for me as far as performing goes. I wanted to be able to return to my horse before he became an old man. Age limits on festivals did not help my somewhat panicked scramble up the music ladder. I also knew of a few peers who had similar deadlines into their 30’s on whether or not they would make it or not in music.
That deadline seems a bit more silly now that I am much closer to my late 20’s, but I still cannot shake the feeling completely. My horse, Mikey, will not live forever, and when he passes I do not want to look back and only see how much time I did not spend with him. Yet, there is still plenty I can do in Boston over the next year or two before I make an uncertain move back to the much more affordable South. The Boston area will never have sustainable living for me when it comes to finding a house and maintain a very large pet. It is just too expensive, even with my clothes from high school, a 8 year old computer, and 17 year old car. Being frugal is not helping much.
I guess I am coming more to terms that you cannot compare your pace of life with anyone else’s. There will always be people who achieve more or less than you, so what you really need to do is just stay true to yourself. There really is no major reason why once I hit 27, or 28, that I would be out of the running for performance opportunities simply because I move to the southern suburbs. Writing this blog is actually helping to solidify for me how silly I am being about this “timeline.”
If I am luckily the perfect opportunity will come along for me as long as I keep an eye out for it!